Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Iconoclasts- Norman Lear talks Archie Bunker

Posted 33 Minutes Ago

Legendary television producer Norman Lear talk about Archie Bunker from All In The Family with Starbucks chairman Howard Schultz in this clip from the next episode of Iconoclasts. Each hour-long episode of the six-part series features two leading innovators from different fields who come together to discuss their passions and creative processes. Airs Thursday, November 15th @10PM on The Sundance Channel! For More info, visit: http://www.sundancechannel.com/iconoclasts/

Monday, November 12, 2007

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Announcement

My dear readers,
I have a very exciting announcement! This little blog is moving up and out. That's right, I have a new domain name, a new design, and a new-found freedom from Google's tyranny! Starting now, this site will not be maintained, but don't worry, my new site has all my old articles archived. So, come visit me at MadMegan.net! Hurray!
-- Megan

Monday, January 29, 2007

K-Fed's Rollin' VIP (Into My Heart)

If the Doomsday Clock didn’t convince you that the end is near, this ought to do it. I might actually be gaining a grudging respect for K-Fed. It started back when he sued Britney for custody. Now he’s making fun of himself in this Nationwide commercial.



I love nothing more than a celebrity who lampoons themself (see Gyllenhaal, Jake, and Radcliff, Daniel ) so K-Fed better watch out before he worms his way into my cold, black heart. I even kind of love the way he says “what?” when the manager yells at him. Oh Lord, what have I become?

Friday, January 26, 2007

Screw you too, Google!

When I signed up for ads on my blog, I agreed to not say anything disparaging about Google, or AdSense. Now that they have arbitrarily disabled my ads, and refuse to pay me my portion of the the money I generated for them, I have no compunction about putting Google on the Catherine Keener List of Shame.

Hello Megan,

Thank you for your appeal.

After receiving your response, we re-reviewed your account data thoroughly. We have reconfirmed that invalid clicks were generated on the ads on your site in violation of our Terms and Conditions and program policies.

https://www.google.com/adsense/terms
https://www.google.com/adsense/policies

We have these policies in place to help ensure the effectiveness of Google ads for our publishers as well as our advertisers. According to our policy on this matter, we are unable to reinstate you into the program.

As you may know, publishers disabled for invalid click activity are not allowed any further participation in AdSense. For this reason, you may not open a new account.

Please bear in mind that subsequent or duplicate appeals may not be considered and you may not receive any further communication from us. We appreciate your understanding.
Sincerely,

The Google AdSense Team

Your Daily Marine Biology Lesson

The frilled shark, Chlamydoselachus anguineus, is a primitive shark species, of the family Chlamydoselachidae in the order Hexanchiformes. Distribution is worldwide, but they are very rarely found in shallow water. The sharks are usually found at depths of between 120 m and 1280 m. They typically eat squid, and deepwater bony fish. (Source: Wikipedia)



I guess it’s a really good thing that I don’t go down to 120 m when I scuba dive, because this thing freaks the crap out of me. Why does it look like it’s half shark, half tadpole? Why do his gills give me the willies? Apparently this shark was brought up from deep water, into captivity, and died shortly thereafter. And I am totally okay with that. Mankind is much nicer to cute, fuzzy endangered species.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Tyra Banks Is Healthy

America’s Next Top Model is my favorite guilty pleasure, and as such I harbor a secret love for Tyra Banks. Although I am not legally allowed to go into details about how I personally know her (confidentiality agreements apparently include blogs, darn it), I will say that she is a smart, grounded individual who is serious about her career, and loves to play up the drama mama on both of her television shows. I will also say that she is very tall, slender, and lovely in person (despite needing to reconsider her weave). So when I hear her being bashed in every media outlet as “fat,” I do take umbrage. Today, she addressed this issue , stating that she is a very healthy 161 pounds. On her 5’10” frame, that is a respectable weight, though certainly a lot more than she sported in her modeling days. She addresses the media’s nastiness, saying:

"I've made millions of dollars with the body I have, so where's the pain in that?" she says. "If I was in pain, I would have dieted. The pain is not there — the pain is someone printing a picture of me and saying those (horrible) things."

In this era of too-skinny starlets suing newspapers for exposing their eating disorders (seriously, Keira Knightley, who do you think you’re fooling?), it seems like a glaring hypocrisy to have to do the same to defend a healthy body. I applaud Tyra for appearing on her show in a bikini today, and hope that this small measure will help usher in a new age of body-confident role models.


Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Happy Birthday Neil!

Just a little birthday tribute to the man who makes my soul sing, Neil Diamond. Here’s to another sixty-six years of musical/spoken word genius.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

For Your Consideration

A hearty congratulations to all the recently announced Oscar nominees! The list of leading actors alone is proof that no early 1990’s television show is too small to launch an award-winning film career. Leonardo DiCaprio has Growing Pains, Will Smith has Fresh Prince, even Forest Whitaker has an episode of Diff’rent Strokes on his résumé. But, it is my pick for best actor, Ryan Gosling, who delighted millions of pre-teens girls with his stint on the Mickey Mouse Club (re-named MMC, for that “oh-so-cool” factor). Watch the following clip and have “Faithful” stuck in your head all day long.



PS Peter O’Toole? You are severely lacking in the bad sitcom requirement for this category. You better start digitally inserting yourself into some Facts of Life reruns (maybe as Edna Garrett’s estranged husband, who has been lost at sea low these many years?) before the Academy gets wind of this!

Your Morning Upper

If you took the time to read the story attached to yesterday’s post, you are probably still hopelessly disturbed. Below is my way of making it up to you. If it doesn’t quite do the trick, visit cuteoverload.com for a reminder of all that is good and kind in the world. And I will try to keep things on the light-hearted end for a while.

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Monday, January 22, 2007

An American Crime

Hey, did you know Catherine Keener and James Franco were in a new movie at Sundance? Did you also know that it’s based on the true story of one of the most horrific torture/murders in American history? The trailer seems gruesome, but if you’re left curious, check out this link. Warning, this is not for the faint of heart. Or for anyone who loves kids, or respects human life.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Early Evening Pick Me Up

Not sure if it's too early to start getting excited by this sure-fire suck fest, but here you go! Ioan in a wedding scene, I can't wait!

My Personal American Idol

And I thought I was bad, by devoting part of my work day to this little blog! Meet Emmalee Bauer. Slacker, procrastinator, and my personal hero.

“The young hotel Sheraton sales coordinator found that she had a lot of free time at work, but that she needed to look busy to avoid reprimands. So she started obsessively chronicling every moment of her day in a journal, ultimately filling 300 single spaced pages. Unfortunately, someone eventually figured out that Bauer's clackety-clack noises weren't actually evidence of her productivity and fired her, and at a state hearing to determine whether she should receive unemployment benefits, portions of the journal were made public. The Des Moines Register ran a few choice excerpts:
'I am going to sit right here and play Elf Bowling or some other nonsense. Once lunch is over, I will come right back to writing to piddle away the rest of the afternoon. ...'”

This is something I may or may not have considered doing (depending on if you are my employer, reading this right now). But it never really occurred to me that she could be fired for it, and worse, denied unemployment! I guess next time I toy with the idea of putting “filed nails, updated myspace page, and took post-nap lunch” on my daily update, I should reconsider.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

The Way of the Future

Electrolux has designed these nifty shoes that vacuum as you walk! Wow, I am too lazy to vacuum, but I walk all the time! These are perfect for me.

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Of course this invention is building on the ingenious shoe mops, which were developed sometime in the last century, by the illustrious innovator, Pippi Longstocking.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Your Afternoon Scare Tactic

When I read this, I actually dropped my Nutter Butter (less fat than a Ritz Peanut Butter Bite!). Apparently, some “scientists” have a very “scientific” Doomsday Clock, with which they can “scientifically” tell us how scared shitless we should be. It’s all very science-y, but here is what you need to know… if you never want to sleep again.

“We stand at the brink of a second nuclear age… symptomatic of a larger failure to solve the problems posed by the most destructive technology on Earth.
…We have concluded that the dangers posed by climate change are nearly as dire as those posed by nuclear weapons… Over the next three to four decades climate change could cause drastic harm to the habitats upon which human societies depend for survival.”

Of course, just as I am trying to convince myself that the situation can’t be all that bad, I hear that it is snowing in Malibu for the first time in 45 years. It’s like the freaking Day After Tomorrow over here.
The only consolation I can offer you folks, is the notion that these Doomsday Scientists also thought we were “five minutes to midnight” back in the Cold War, and all that came out of that was the following cinematic screen gem.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

An ObamaNation

“US Democratic senator Barack Obama… said today that he is taking the initial step toward a presidential campaign that could make him the first black American to occupy the White House.”

Well, well, someone finally got around to confirming, after months (years?) of speculation, that he is running for President. About damn time. I guess it will take more than a little real estate scandal and accidental pro-sex-offender-bill-voting to keep a good man down. Now get Hilary on your ticket, and the sky’s the limit! Obama/Clinton 2008, woot!



Monday, January 15, 2007

You're Gonna Love Him

Although I never intended this blog to become an unending tribute to Jake Gyllenhaal, it seems that His Dreaminess has other plans. If you didn't catch him hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend, perhaps this little clip will give you an idea of what you missed out on.



And just a quick note to you naysayers: if you leave comments telling me this proves he's gay, it's not going to make me love him any less. Fair warning.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Why I Need to Stay Up for Conan

Apparently while I was crawling into bed at ten o’clock last night, I was missing a Very Controversial Conan O’Brien. He performed a seemingly-hilarious skit as the Homophobic Country/Western Singer, singing the following diddy:

Oh I love you Jesus 
But only as a friend. 
You touched my heart but I hope 
That's where the touchin' ends.
You're always lookin' over me 
When I need a higher power. 
But you better look at somethin' else 
When I'm in the shower.

Oh, Conan, how I love thee. But apparently, not everyone agrees with me (shocker!). The good people at WorldNetDaily have issued the following statement:

"NBC has plummeted to the level of CBS, with a late-night skit that blatantly mocks Christianity by portraying Jesus as a homosexual voyeur, a stunt that would have been instantly condemned nationwide if it had focused on any subject other than Christianity, according to a pro-life leader…. We wonder if O'Brien's description of the character as a 'complete idiot' is based on the man's 'homophobic' beliefs or if it is because of the inference that Jesus could be sexually interested in seeing the man naked," Scott said. "I don't know if the man is a complete idiot, but I do suspect that the writer of the segment is a complete bigot."

Most of the statement is totally unreadable nonsense, but you get the idea here. The Christians are feeling persecuted. Well, join the freaking club. I am sure the homosexual community will send you a welcome basket, filled with fresh baked muffins, and hand crocheted doilies.


Breaking News: Holmes Behaves Like A Celebrity

That is not my headline, but that of seriously catty Canadian gossip site, Dose.ca . The article is mostly about Katie Holmes spending $200,000 at Barney’s over the course of the last year, which really isn’t all that shocking when you think about how little else she has to do during the day. But they do manage to get in a few unnecessary digs at everyone’s favorite beard, calling her a “one-time starlet” and asking us all to remember that she “isn’t a robot.” I am not sure why this struck a nerve with me, considering this is some of the least snarky reporting on Holmes I’ve seen lately. Maybe I just feel sorry for her. But come on, if you were married to Tom Cruise, wouldn’t you spend as much time at Barney’s as possible? And please don’t try to act like she isn’t a legitimate celebrity. You may not like her, but she has at least earned her celebrity status, unlike certain underpants-eschewing, appendectomy-faking, sex-tape-promoting celebutards I can think of.



Also, is it just me, or does she look like maybe she’s had some work done? Eh, it’s probably just the lobotomy. Zing! Look at me, undoing all the good I did in the above.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Posh and Becks in the City of Angels!

As much as I hate to do two stories in a row on studly men, I just wanted to mention some exciting news. David Beckham is coming to America! It was announced today that he signed a reported $250 million contract with the Los Angeles Galaxy! My first thoughts of elation on hearing this were somewhat tempered by the surprising revelation that Los Angeles has a soccer team. Who knew? But apparently, the entire franchise is riding on his well- muscled shoulders. Good luck Becks! See you at the Scientology Celebrity Center!


Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Stars, They’re Just Like Us: Ammo Edition

Picture it. Last night. Ammo on Highland Ave. I’m enjoying a pomegranate martini, when who should pull up on his fancy motorcycle? Ryan Reynolds, looking very scruffy and very much like Ryan Gosling. If you don’t remember him from “Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place,” you might recognize him as the star of Just Friends, Amityville Horror, and my personal favorite, School of Life. He is also the owner of this body.



Wowser. So Alanis Morissette breaks up with him and it’s all fine, but when she breaks up with Dave Coulier we get Jagged Little Pill? Someone needs to straighten out her priorities.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Grudgematch Trump vs. O’Donnell

I haven’t had much to say about the Donald Trump/Rosie O’Donnell feud because… well, I don’t care about either of them. But Donald Trump is refusing to let his newest Apprentice installment go quietly into ratings oblivion by beating this dead horse mercilessly. Now he’s written an open letter, trying to drag Barbara Walters further into this quagmire.
Guess what you two? It’s all true! Donald, your hair sucks and you ARE a snake-oil salesman. Rosie, you are fat, and your magazine did fail. Did you guys think that we didn’t know this before you pointed it out to everyone? None of this squabbling makes me want to watch your respective shows any more or less than I already did. Now I’m going to leave you two alone to fight this battle amongst yourselves, just like my mom used to do when she was sick of my sister and I fighting. Don’t come out of your rooms until you’re ready to act like adults.

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Monday, January 08, 2007

Angelina Jolie’s Nomination for Sainthood Revoked

Methinks Angelina Jolia is getting a little too comfortable in her “Like Mother Teresa Only Hotter” public image. Check out what she recently told Us Magzine.

“On the different love she feels for her kids:
’I think I feel so much more for Madd and Zee because they’re survivors, they came through so much. Shiloh seemed so privileged from the moment she was born. I have less inclination to feel for her...I met my other kids when they were 6 months old, they came with a personality. A newborn really is this...Yes, a blob! But now she’s starting to have a personality...I’m conscious that I have to make sure I don’t ignore her needs, just because I think the others are more vulnerable.’”

Hm, sounds like someone has a serious prejudice against genetically gifted kids who are born to rich and famous parents. How ironic. She should be careful though, because as endearing as the whole “rescuing children from poverty and famine is so much more fulfilling than contributing to the Hollywood blob population” thing is, the public has no forgiveness for bad mothers. Just ask Ethel Rosenberg.



Friday, January 05, 2007

Mysterious Force of Nature Wrecks Havoc in the South


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“Powerful storms killed at least two people, flooded streets and ripped apart homes as they swept from Louisiana through South Carolina. In South Carolina on Friday, 15 people were injured when a suspected tornado piled cars on top of each other outside an elementary school, officials said. Nine more people were reported injured in Mississippi and two deaths were reported Thursday as the storm hit Louisiana.”

Okay, I don’t mean to make light of this tragedy, and I am very sorry for the families of the people that died, but… “suspected” tornado? What was your first clue? Just looking at the picture, I can tell you it was a tornado. Throughout the CNN.com article witness keep saying it was a definitely a tornado, and yet it is repeatedly referred to as a “suspected” or “possible” tornado. I guess until the Incredible Hulk steps up and claims responsibility, this mystery will never be solved.

Seona Dancing

Fans of the British version of The Office know him best as David Brent. Witness the Saharan wit that is Ricky Gervais:



Now get ready to have your mind blown by the 1984 version of Ricky Gervais. Trust me, this is good.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Leonardo’s Baby

Are you as sick as I am of celebrities vying for sainthood by adopting third world babies and swearing to show them all the love and devotion that they have been so severely lacking in their own war torn/famine stricken nations? I thought so. From today’s Page Six.

"Africa's baby adoption march is not halting with Angelina, Madonna and Whoever. Next up, Leonardo DiCaprio. Being wifeless, he does not plan to raise the child, live with the child or endure any long nights rocking it to sleep. His support will be a monthly check. While in South Africa making "Blood Diamond," he met a little girl from an orphanage. Played with her, talked with her, became fascinated by her. He's now "adopted" her, and parenting will continue by phone."

I love how Leonardo is not even pretending to carry the kid around in a pink blanket, carefully shielding it’s face from the paparazzi. He’s gonna raise this kid in the great Hollywood tradition: Phone it in and send the kid a check when she complains. Mark my words, this kid is going to grow up with a Swarovski crystal encrusted spoon in her mouth, and in fifteen years she will be the star of the African Surreal Life Season 12… either that or he’ll forget all about her once she enters her awkward adolescent phase. Eh, it’s probably for the best.


Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Panned Labyrinth

Do you sleep at night? Maybe a little too well? If you’d like to put an end to that, by all means, go see Pan’s Labyrinth. However, if you’d like to believe that the world is a safe place full of love and beauty, do NOT watch this movie. DON’T DO IT!

Things you should know: First of all, it is in no way related to Peter Pan. Secondly, it is possibly the most senselessly violent movie I have ever seen. Thirdly, it is filled with ugly – ugly bugs, ugly mystical creatures, ugly Spanish facists. Also, it is subtitled, which I generally don’t mind, but I like to know going in. Now I know it is rated R, but I thought it might be the Spanish Chronicles of Narnia. And I was right, if Chronicles of Narnia were mixed with Apocalytpo, minus the charm and set in Facist Spain. Watch this trailer, and mentally multiply the implied torture scenes by a thousand, and know that all the scenes of the magical underworld comprise the last 2 minutes of the film.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

And the media blitzkrieg moves on...

If you're tired of me riding Jake Gyllenhaal's coattails to fame, don't worry. You can see my name up in non-Gyllenhaal-related lights (or, tiny italics) here. Check out the review my friend Megan wrote of Subtitle, Blueprint, and Islands, and take a little time to enjoy the photos by yours truly.