Leonardo’s Baby

Are you as sick as I am of celebrities vying for sainthood by adopting third world babies and swearing to show them all the love and devotion that they have been so severely lacking in their own war torn/famine stricken nations? I thought so. From today’s Page Six.

"Africa's baby adoption march is not halting with Angelina, Madonna and Whoever. Next up, Leonardo DiCaprio. Being wifeless, he does not plan to raise the child, live with the child or endure any long nights rocking it to sleep. His support will be a monthly check. While in South Africa making "Blood Diamond," he met a little girl from an orphanage. Played with her, talked with her, became fascinated by her. He's now "adopted" her, and parenting will continue by phone."

I love how Leonardo is not even pretending to carry the kid around in a pink blanket, carefully shielding it’s face from the paparazzi. He’s gonna raise this kid in the great Hollywood tradition: Phone it in and send the kid a check when she complains. Mark my words, this kid is going to grow up with a Swarovski crystal encrusted spoon in her mouth, and in fifteen years she will be the star of the African Surreal Life Season 12… either that or he’ll forget all about her once she enters her awkward adolescent phase. Eh, it’s probably for the best.